Chantix Day 8: “QUIT DAY”

So it’s been 8 days now since I started taking Chantix. Today is my official “Quit Day”. The thought of that partly makes me anxious, and another part of me is like “Ehh, seems easy enough so far.”  So I guess to recap the past week: I pretty much continued about my life as normal like the prescription told me to do; continuing to smoke as I normally would while taking the pills each day. I could tell by Day 3 that my cigarettes were starting to taste kind of funny. Not “disgusting” by any means, but it didn’t taste as good to me and made me feel like there was kind of no point to it. I could tell that I wasn’t getting the same relaxing “Ahhhhhhh” feeling I would normally get when I would light up in the past. In all honesty, I probably could have completely stopped smoking right then and there if I really tried. But that’s the thing about smoking, it’s not just physical, it’s mostly mental, (for me at least). So instead of stopping on Day 3 I thought to myself, “Well, technically my official ‘Quit Day’ isn’t until Tuesday 11/8, so I’m going to keep doing it while I still ‘can’.” ((I’m so stubborn!!)) Needless to say, each day the cigarettes started tasting worse and worse. Almost to the point where they made me feel kind of ill and afterwards I got nothing positive out of it. I felt like it was all pointless and that I just smelled like a dirty old ash tray and all I wanted to do was take a shower, stat! ((And where’s my gum??))

As for the side effects: So far the only side effect I have really noticed and suffered from is nausea. Especially if I don’t take the medication with food. Saturday morning was my first time taking the pill without eating something first and literally 15 minutes later I thought I was going to keel over and die right there on the spot. Absolutely felt disgusting! So of course, I ate something as soon as I could and instantly started feeling better. Same thing happened again Saturday night when I took the night pill without dinner. Again, I ate something and instantly felt better. So I now I know how important it is to not take the pill without food or else my stomach gets really mad at me. :) I also noticed that the night pills feel worse to me than the morning ones do. The night ones make me groggy and dizzy, and sometimes still slightly nauseous even though I took it with dinner. But it’s all good because I go to sleep shortly after taking the pill anyway.

So yesterday, (Monday 11/7 -- Day 7), was my last day smoking. I had 1 cigarette on my way to work, and then another half of one on my way home. I was ready to be done after that but decided to have my very last one while I was relaxing in the hot tub with Eric. I could only smoke half of it, and I felt sick after I was done. The experiences helped make me feel ready for today! “I can do this!!”

DAY 8: “QUIT DAY”
So today I have been going through a series of emotions. Part of me is excited that I am finally doing this. I am ready to be smoke-free and no longer be a slave to my addiction. Another part of me is trying to punch that “Yeah let’s quit!” side of me in the face and take over again. For example: I don’t smoke during the day while I am at work. I can go all day without even thinking about it. But for some reason today it keeps popping into my head! For some reason, today it seems hard! Why today? Why? I think it’s because the addicted part of me obviously doesn’t want to let it go yet. And since today is the day that I am officially done with smoking, the addicted side of me is like “No! Wait! Don’t forget about me! Just one more won’t hurt you!” It’s really annoying to be honest. I know it will pass, but it definitely does take will power and a lot of mental strength to overcome addiction. Especially nicotine. Sometimes I start to feel panicked like I need something important that I’m missing. I try thinking of other things I can do that will replace what I’ve lost, like drinking a cup of coffee. It’s like there is a buzz that I’m missing. But then I get distracted and those feelings go away.

I have a theory for why nicotine is the hardest drug to quit. Something I learned from my years studying Psychology and everything I have learned about addiction. When someone is in the process of quitting an addictive drug, a big part what measures their success is their ability to stay away from what psychologists call “Triggers”. Triggers, are the people, places, and activities that the addicted person associates with their addictive drug. Being around these triggers are an extremely strong force in tempting the addicted person to use their drug again and relapse. So when someone is trying to quit a drug, one of the most important steps to quitting successfully is to avoid their triggers. So for example: Let’s say a cocaine addict is trying to quit cocaine. An important step in order for that person to be able to successfully quit, is to stay away from the friends and the places where they used to get high on cocaine. Stay away from the friends you used to get high with, stop going to that club you always got high at. An alcoholic needs to stay away from bars and their drinking buddies, etc. Removing the things that remind you of “using”, will help you to not think about it as much, and therefore helps to lessen your urges to use again. Makes sense right? Good. I thought so too.

So… Knowing now what we know about what kind of role “Triggers” play in addiction, and how important it is for them to be avoided in order for a person to quit their addiction successfully, let’s talk about the battle that smokers deal with. Our triggers are almost everywhere! Nicotine is a LEGAL drug! So we can smoke in our cars, at home, at restaurants, on our patios, at any friend’s house, in any parking lot, coffee shop, bar, park… Pretty much at almost every public venue (minus churches and movie theaters), pretty much during almost everything we do. Therefore, because we can smoke almost everywhere and can smoke in front of pretty much everyone we know, we are surrounded by our triggers. So, tell me, how would you advise a smoker to get away from and avoid their “triggers”, when their triggers are literally everywhere? Yeah… It’s nearly impossible. That’s why smoking takes so much incredible will-power and mental strength. It’s an extremely powerful and highly addictive drug, and a habit that we have been doing multiple times a day for years and years of our lives. It’s harder for a smoker to quit smoking than it is for a heroin addict to quit heroin. That says a lot if you asked me.

I’m not trying to say that it’s ok for people to continue to smoke because of how hard it is to quit. I’m just yapping my trap because it’s keeping me busy and distracted for the moment. And I want people to understand the battle that we go through when going through the quitting process. My word of advice for people who want their loved ones to quit successfully, is to continue to give them positive reinforcement about their efforts to quit, EVERY DAY! We need to keep being reminded of why we are doing it and what benefits can come from it. One of the benefits is the happiness it brings to our loved ones. Yes, we are all trying to quit for ourselves, but part of ourselves wants to keep smoking, so that’s not enough; and a big part of the reason we want to quit for ourselves is so that we can live longer and healthier FOR our loved ones! So it doesn’t hurt to continue giving us a pat on the back each day. Tell us how proud you are of us for getting through another day smoke-free. Tell us how good we smell. Tell us you’re here for us and understand how hard it is. It feels good to know that there are people out there who support us and believe in us. We need our cheerleaders! Each day we are battling the addicted monsters inside of our heads, and it’s exhausting. So a little pep talk now and then really feels good and helps to keep us motivated to win the battle against nicotine.

Thanks for reading! That’s all I have to rant about today. Time to hit the gym!! <3

“9:15, let’s have a great day everybody!”

…liesl