Chantix: Day 1

So I have decided to write a daily blog about my journey to quit smoking… I started smoking 10 years ago when I was 15 years old because I wanted to piss off the guy I was dating at the time – he was a jerk who hated smokers – so I thought I would get back at him for being a jerk by becoming a smoker. It’s a stupid reason, but are there any good reasons to start smoking? No…  So don’t judge. Anyway, clearly I have been smoking for a long time. I was never a really heavy smoker as far as smokers go, but I guess you could say I averaged about 1 pack a day or a little less than that, depending on the day and what I was doing and who I was with. ;)

Once people begin smoking, we all have our different reasons for why we continue: Stress, boredom, socially, etc. I think my reasons are mostly for the stress/anxiety and social reasons. There’s something about having a cigarette with a friend; kind of like having a beer or dinner with someone. It just brings people together and gives you something to do while you talk. Also, for me I’ve noticed I kind of have a social anxiety that I always felt like smoking helped me cope with. I could walk around campus at school or in a shopping mall parking lot or wherever, and it gave me something to focus on so that I could ignore the world around me. I don’t like strangers and crowds and people I don’t know looking at me when I’m walking by, and I always felt like walking around with a cigarette in my hand gave me a feeling of invisibility; or at least helped me put blinders on so that I felt like me and my cigarette were the only two things in the world at that moment, and it helped me to completely ignore all the weirdos nearby. But in the end, along with those reasons I believe that I also really do enjoy smoking to a certain degree. I actually don’t mind the smell or the taste, and I feel like it helps me with all those things I mentioned before.

But I’m engaged now, soon to be married, and it’s more than just me in the world. More than just me I need to think about and live for. So of course, I need to quit. Not just for him, but for me as well. He just helped kick that deadline into high-gear for me. And I am grateful for it. :) I am ready!!

So in my efforts to quit, I read a book earlier this year that I thought would help me to quit. The book was recommended to me by a friend who read it and quit instantly, it’s called “The Easy Way To Stop Smoking” by Alan Carr. So I read it, twice, and was totally enlightened... It completely changed everything I used to think about the smoking ‘habit’. Things like:  It’s not a habit, it’s a drug addiction! And all those reasons us smokers tell ourselves about how cigarettes help us with this-and-that and whatever, the book completely demolishes every excuse we come up with! You can’t walk away from reading that book and justify continuing to smoke. You just can’t. The only thing that will keep you from quitting is complete stubbornness and utter weakness. Period. Even though the book didn’t help me completely quit, I highly recommend it to anybody looking to stop. It just completely changes the way your mind thinks about smoking, which is a very helpful tool when trying to quit; even more important than a physical aid. It’s 10x more of a mind addiction than it is a physical one. Believe it or not folks! It’s true.

So I read the book twice, and quit for a while, and then slowly started smoking again. Not nearly as much as I smoked before reading it, but I slowly got back up to about 2-4 cigarettes a day. Which is still a pretty amazing accomplishment if you ask me. I can go hours and hours without a cigarette now, without even thinking about one! That, my friends, is a big deal… (Other smokers would agree with me). What killed me and got me smoking again at all was drinking and the social aspect of it. It’s unfortunate, but I totally let it happen. I barely tried to prevent it from happening. But it’s all good… Smokers have to keep trying before they succeed. There is a reason why they say it is the most difficult drug to quit. Even more difficult than heroine. That’s some pretty serious shit to deal with. And I hate it when people are like ‘Just don’t smoke!’. Umm… If it was that easy, don’t you think we would all be smoke-free right now? Idiots… Shut up and stop shoving your opinion on things that you know absolutely NOTHING about! Unless you are a smoker of 10 years who quit cold-turkey like that, you have absolutely no room to talk to me. So get out of my face. :)

Anyway, since I realized that just reading a book wasn’t enough for me to be completely smoke-free, I decided to get a prescription for Chantix.  Chantix, is a the quit smoking drug that basically blocks the nicotine receptors in your brain that release dopamine when you intake nicotine. So instead of getting a ‘feel-good’ sensation when you smoke, your body doesn’t react at all to the nicotine. And therefore, without the pleasure you get from taking in the nicotine, people are like ‘Eww, this cigarette is gross’, and they put it out. You’re supposed to take the pill each day and keep smoking for a week, and by the end of the week you should have no desire to smoke a cigarette. So yeah, I am hoping the extra medical help will work to make me smoke-free for good. I have the mental power I need from reading the book, now I just need the medication to make cigarettes un-enjoyable so I am even more inclined to stop completely.

I have a few concerns about the medication and with regard to quitting in general. As for the medication, I know the side-effects can make it difficult to sleep, make you agitated and angry, depressed, suicidal, etc. I really hope none of that happens to me. The holidays are coming up and I have a wedding to plan and I can’t afford to be in a bad mood all the time. I am also concerned about gaining weight. I have been working out over lunch every day for a little over a month now, so I feel like I have a pretty good workout routine going for me, but I know that quitting smoking increases your urge to snack more during the day and to eat more at meals. I just need to try and refrain from the extra food because I have a wedding dress I need to fit into, and I don’t want to look fat in my pictures! I know if I keep working out and eating healthy I should be fine… (Crossing fingers!)

DAY #1:
So now that I spelled out the background, I find myself at Day #1 with Chantix. Day 1 so far has been fine. I took the pill this morning and feel completely normal so far except for a slight energy-buzz. Kind of like I drank a big cup of coffee this morning with breakfast. But it feels good so I am not going to complain about that. I just hope it doesn’t keep me up all night tonight. The prescription also came with an access code to join an online support program called ‘Get Quit’. So I signed up for that this morning too. The site gives you homework to do each day and is just basically another tool to help you to quit for good. Today my homework assignment is to make a journal of the cigarettes I smoke today and how it made me feel and why I chose to smoke. The “When, Where, and Why” for smokers I guess. So, I had 2 this morning on the way to work before I took the first Chantix pill, and I haven’t had any since because I am at work, (it’s currently 3:14PM right now). I am curious to see how I feel when I smoke on my way home from work today. I think it’s too soon for the medication to have any real affect on me, but I have a feeling it’s going to less than a week for me to be completely over cigarettes.

Anyway… That’s all for today. I’ll check in again tomorrow to report how I am feeling and doing. Below is a link to the book I refer to in the blog in case anyone who reads this would like to buy it. I really do highly recommend it. It’s like a smoker’s bible, I swear!

The Easy Way To Stop Smoking:  http://www.theeasywaytostopsmoking.com/

More Information on Chantix:  http://www.chantix.com/

"9:15 let's have a great day everybody!!"

...liesl